In Case of Emergency

Have you seen this particular meme show up on any of your social media streams yet?

It has now been shared by several of my friends on Facebook over the past few weeks, and I really feel the need to address this type of thinking.

First, keep in mind that this is an internet meme. I have, quite literally, no idea about the accuracy of the quote or if Lecrae actually said it. Maybe he did not, maybe he did. Then someone else created this image and posted it on the internet. Then, someone who I know (and you may or may not know) shared it on Facebook. Now, I am sharing it with you in this blog post. From your point of view, you're getting this at least third or fourth hand.

With that in mind, please do not take this as a direct attack aimed specifically at this artist or anyone who created or shared this picture. It is not. This is meant to be a discussion of the underlying concept of the destructive mentality that is the "What if you're wrong/what if I'm right" approach to witnessing or discipleship.

That mentality truly does exist, whether or not Lecrae actually did speak the words attributed to him here. You've probably heard it many times. I know I have. There have even been contemporary christian music songs recorded and released that argue using this same logic.

I believe that it is well past time for us to put an end to this particular thought process.

As Christians, we should never be attempting to convert an unbeliever by directly attacking their existing beliefs in the first place. That makes for a poor witness. John Mayer was on to something when he sang "Is there anyone who really recalls ever breaking rank at all for something someone yelled real loud one time?" But, what if somehow it works? Well, then you run the risk of the other person "accepting" or believing God for the wrong reasons. Or worse, they may not actually receive salvation at all.

How could that be? If someone believes in God, aren't they saved? Aren't they going to Heaven when they die? It doesn't matter if they're convinced to believe "just in case" they were wrong and we were right, right?

In a word, no.

The pastor at my church has used a really accurate metaphor to illustrate this type of belief.  He calls it "fire insurance," as in God is real and you say that you believe in him in case you need him when you die and find out that the fires of Hell are very real. Many Christians have become merely fire insurance salesmen.

The problem is that the "fire insurance" approach won't work. In fact, it could doom the person you're attempting to convert. You see, simply believing in God, no matter what reasons or logic have led to the belief, is not enough to save someone from eternity in Hell. If you convince someone to follow God simply as a precaution against the possibility of flaws in their previous belief and understanding, they may feel that this is sufficient and that they've done enough to escape damnation. That is extremely dangerous. The Bible teaches us in Romans 10:9-10 that we are saved if we believe AND confess and that it is "with the mouth one confesses and is saved."

Moreover, the key here is what should be believed and confessed. Verse 9 says to confess that "Jesus is Lord" and to believe that "God raised him (Jesus) from the dead." Jesus Christ is the true answer. This is also expressly revealed to us by Jesus himself in John 14:6. "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." Even if someone achieves and acknowledges a belief in God, they cannot be saved without also accepting Jesus Christ as Lord of their life. That Nichole Nordeman song I referenced earlier actually does have one lyric that barely touches on this in passing. "What if there's hope you've never dreamed of hoping for?" There is! It's Jesus. It's Christ in me, the hope of glory.

It's Jesus Christ who saves us. THAT is what we should be preaching. THAT is what we should be sharing. R.P.C. Hanson said that "Grace means the free, unmerited, unexpected love of God and all the benefits, delights, and comforts which flow from it. It means that while we were sinners and enemies, we have been treated as sons and heirs." We should be leading others to God, through Christ, because of who he is and what he has done for us, not as simply a fallback plan.

Otherwise, we risk creating a bunch of Beni Gabor's who don't comprehend how the power of God actually works to save us.

Beni Gabor is a character from the movie "The Mummy." If you haven't seen the movie, you don't get the reference. If you have seen the movie....I'm so sorry.

In the movie an ancient mummified ruler is somehow magically awakened and, naturally, terrorizes the modern world. Along the way, Beni comes face to face with the mysteriously reanimated, rotting corpse that is death personified. Faced with his own mortality, Beni pulls from his pocket a collection pendants and charms representing every religious symbol he could think of on Planet Earth. As the titular mummy closes in, poor Beni repeatedly holds up different icons of religion, futilely hoping that simply being associated with the supposed right one will be enough to save him from death and destruction.

This is Beni.



Don't be like Beni.

Scripture: "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us." - 1 John 4:18-19

"Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching. For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths." - 2 Timothy 4:2-4

Quote: "The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it but that it is too low and we reach it." - Michelangelo 

My battle...

I hope you're sitting down as you read this, because I'm about to shock you. I'm going to write a blog about a song.

I know. Crazy. Right? Oh well, there's a first time for everything. So, here we go.

One of my favorite characteristics of any great composition is the ability of the piece to mean different things to different listeners hearing from different viewpoints and applying different filters. This can happen in one of several ways.

One way is simply irritating. That's when someone takes someone else's song and changes the lyrics to make their own point. I don't mean a comedic parody like songs recorded by Weird Al Yankovic or Cledus T. Judd. Those are specifically designed jokes to either poke fun of or pay an odd type of respect to the original artist or songwriter. There are, however, bands who put out entire albums of other people's music with the lyrics rewritten as Christian songs. I hate that. Frankly, it's just sad. Write your own stuff people.

Another method is the cover version. That is to reimagine or reinvent a song to "make it your own." This is the concept employed by the most popular music-based reality television shows. It can cause the viewer or listener to grasp the emotion or meaning of a particular song in a completely new way.

A third, and perhaps my personal favorite, way a song can impact different people in different ways, is when the song isn't changed in any way at all, but the listener simply considers the music or lyrics from an alternate perspective. Allow me to give you an example. Give a listen to this great song "Just In Time" as performed by the one and only Dean Martin. (There are likely many versions by many artists, but we all know Dino is the greatest.) Check it out here.

Nice right? Now listen again, but change your viewpoint. Don't listen to the song as a grateful lover addressing his lady. This time, imagine he's a sinner saved by grace singing of the love of his savior, Jesus Christ, rather than a human love interest. Every word is nearly perfect.

Then there's the rare occasion where a song is so perfectly crafted that you could swear it was written and recorded specifically for you and your situation. Such is the case for me with the song "No Longer Slaves" by Jonathan David and Melissa Helser. You can see the video and hear the song here.

My situation is, simply put, fear. I am a father of one incredible daughter. As I write this, I am within two weeks of becoming the father of two incredible daughters. As illogical and irrational as it may be, I have been battling fear of failure as a father and a husband. I do not recall feeling this way and this strongly as we were awaiting the arrival of our first baby. I have no explanation for why this is happening this time around. It has been a very emotional and stressful battle for me.

Then God used this song to break through to me.

Listen to the first line of the song again with this one little fact of information from my personal life. My oldest daughter is named Melody. My youngest will be named Caroline, which means "a song of happiness."

"You unravel me with a Melody. You surround me with a song (Caroline)."

First, I love the word "unravel" here. When you unravel something, you reduce it to its most basic building block such that it can never be reconstructed into its previous iteration. Many of you know that a firstborn will change everything in and about you and your life.

Second, if the song is applied to my personal life, then I can't help but be amused by the lyric choice of the words "surround me with a song." When Caroline arrives, the girls will have me outnumbered by three to one. I will actually have become surrounded because of her.

Finally, the rest of the song expresses the main point that I so desperately need right now. When it comes to what you face in your situation, or to fear of failure in mine, we are not to be slaves to fear. Please note, that did not say that we are not to ever experience fear. I have long felt guilty any time that I felt fear about anything. I labored under the misinformed belief that because I was afraid, I had somehow failed to believe in or did not possess enough faith in God. It was very disconcerting.

It was also wrong. You see fear, much like doubt or sin, is a natural human experience. In fact, fear is often a beneficial and healthy emotion. What would happen to the human race without the instinctual fears that we have, such as fear of snakes or wild animals? The Bible does teach us to "fear not." But the instructions don't end there. Why are we not supposed to be afraid? "...for I am with you says the lord."

That's the key.

Fear is going to come into your life. That is inevitable. Let God into your life and into your situation. Let him have control. Follow him and lean on him. Then, and only then, you will overcome your fears.

It is ok to get scared. It is ok to be scared. It is not ok to stay scared.

You don't have to stay scared. You are no longer a slave to fear. The truth is, staying scared will not do any good for you. That's what I have to remember myself.

That's what I have to fight for in my life.


Scripture: O do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:10

Quote: "Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - John Wayne


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Change...again.

It was Sunday, July 12, 2015.

It was the end of what will be a very memorable weekend for my family. We had just spent several days celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary. The actual anniversary was on Thursday. That evening my wife, Mandy, and I had a wonderful dinner out with just the two of us and our daughter, Melody. Then on Saturday night, we had a nice dinner celebration with a bunch of our friends and family. Sunday afternoon was spent unwinding and resting up for the coming week.

Then, everything changed...again.

I don't actually remember what I was doing. It is probably a safe bet that I was watching television. That's a fairly constant weekend activity for me. It was likely some sporting event. Then, Mandy called me back into our room. She handed me a small box and told me that she had one last anniversary gift for me. Mandy is always going above and beyond in the gift giving department. For this particular anniversary, she had already given me a banjo. I'm a guitarist and have said for years that I am intrigued by the banjo and would like to try my hand at it. So, she bought me one. Needless to say, I certainly did not expect or deserve anything else from her. So, I opened the box.

Inside were several pairs of tiny socks. (I'll be honest. As I wrote that last sentence, I heard it in the voice of Lily Aldrin.) Now most, if not all of you, have already cleverly figured out the significance. Sadly, I was not so quick. Melody is two, and I was trying to figure out why Mandy was giving me more socks for her. I totally missed the fact that they were way too small. So, I had to ask. "What are these?" Then she showed me the test.

It said we were pregnant...again.

That's how she broke it to me.

It couldn't have been more perfect...again.

We are going to have another baby. We are switching to man to man defense. We will soon be the prototypical family unit: dad, mom, and two beautiful children.

Now is a good time to share a little background. Mandy and I were married for over six years before we were finally told that it would be both medically possible and safe for us to have kids. Our oldest child is about to turn three, and we have had discussions on and off again for most of those three years about the possibility of having a second baby. I have often said, semi-jokingly, that we shouldn't have another because we had the perfect child already. Based on the horror stories that we've heard from others, we had a relatively easy pregnant and delivery, and Mel is and has been a great kid who is kind, obedient, and respectful at least most of the time. How could we possibly follow that up successfully?

Then, a few months back, we made the decision. We both wanted another baby. We hadn't really discussed it much with anyone else. We didn't broadcast to all we know that we were trying. We just began working toward our new dream.

Now that dream is coming true. With that, a new set of questions and concerns has arisen.

With our first pregnancy, my primary concerns were financial and parental. The financial worries are largely similar this time around. While we were able to economically survive having a baby once, how can we make sure we are able to do it again? For one thing, the items and supplies needed for child care have undoubtedly risen in price over the last three years. Also, we no longer have to learn to budget for a family of dad, mom, and new baby. Now we must successfully plan for dad, mom, new baby, and a growing three year old. Having experienced the economic effect of a new baby once, I feel as though we should be able to handle it again. However, the concept of a second baby is just as foreign now as a first baby was three years ago. I can't help but wonder and worry a little.

The parental concerns for a second kid are much different than they were for the first. I believe that Mandy and I have a very good approach to parenting, and I believe that the abilities and attitudes exhibited by our daughter are evidence of this. Are we perfect? No. Are we the best parents in history? Not likely. However, I am extremely proud of the person our daughter already is and is becoming and of the role my wife and I have played as parents shaping that person. New questions arise when contemplating a second child. How do we help Melody transition from being an only child to being a big sister? How do we provide appropriate levels of care and attention to both children and not risk short changing one or the other? How do we keep both kids from developing entitlement complexes and using terms like "deserve" or "fair" with regard to their sibling, parents, or the world around them? What, if anything, can we do to ensure both children remain healthy and happy? Can we avoid a repeat of Melody's hospital stay and the emotional toll that it took on my wife and me? (That remains the darkest time in my life to date.) What am I not seeing or considering? Am I missing anything?

What am I supposed to think...again?

Honestly, I still don't know what to think. The simple fact is, having one baby doesn't automatically mean that you can or should have two. Yes, there will be many similarities. However, there will be many differences as well. I have said it before, and I'll say it again. Whatever is coming will come whether I'm ready or not. So, I am going to use the same approach as I did the first time. We can do some planning as necessary, but avoid paralysis by over-analysis. Wait and see. Read and react.

After all, it has worked out very well for us thus far.

We're going to have a baby...again.

Bring it on!




Scripture: Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. - Psalm 127:3

Quote: "Well I just heard the news today. It seems my life is going to change. I close my eyes, begin to pray. Then tears of joy stream down my face." - Scott Stapp

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Love

I have been given the perfect illustration of God's love.

Would you like to see?

This...

...is my daughter Melody Joan. She provides a daily reminder of the endless love of God for me.

It is not because she was a miracle gift from him after we had been told we could not have kids and spent years as a married couple believing that we would not have a family.

It is not because she has a remarkably joyful personality, and she brings light and love to my wife and me on an endless basis.

So why is she a "perfect illustration" of God's love?

It is because she is, and most probably will remain, my one and only child.

The Bible tells us that "God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) You see, Christ is the one and only son of God.

God literally sacrificed his only child on my behalf, and on your behalf.

As you read this, whoever you are, you have a certain relationship to me. You may be immediate family or a distant relative. A close friend or a mere acquaintance. A brother or sister in Christ or a complete stranger. Whatever our relationship, I have some degree of love in my heart for you. That degree varies according to our relationship and situation. I truly love some of you very dearly.

Still, would you like to guess how many of you, how many people in all of human history, mean so much to me that I would sacrifice my Melody Joan on your behalf?

To quote Phil from the mail room on Boy Meets World, "I'll give you a hint. It's less than two."

That's why she perfectly illustrates the love of God for me. Knowing how much I love her, and how unwilling I am to give her up for virtually anybody, I can appreciate how much more God loves me if he was willing to give up his son for me.

That amount of love for me is also how much love he has for you. Even if you were the only person in history, God still would have made that sacrifice. For you.

For you.

That is the truest love.

It is a truly sobering reality.

Scripture: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16

Quote: "Grace means the free, unmerited, unexpected love of God and all the benefits, delights, and comforts which flow from it. It means that while we were sinners and enemies, we have been treated as sons and heirs." - R.P.C. Hanson

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Doubts

I doubt that God exists.

Wait...what?

I actually said that. I doubt that God exists.

To the few people who truly know me, that admission could be startling, unsettling, infuriating, and potentially heartbreaking. After all, I was raised in a Christian home. My entire family is Christian. I married a Christian girl, and I have been actively involved for years in various levels of service in Christian churches.

How could a guy with such a background, not believe in God?

Because of some recent changes in my life-old friendships lost, new friendships growing, and moving to a new (Christian) home church-there are other people who don't know me so well yet. These people sit and discuss God and the church with me. They play with me on the worship team at the new church, or they see me playing guitar and singing songs to God every Sunday morning and helping to lead others in worship of God.

How could that guy not believe in God?

Then there's a third group of people. You may actually be one of these people. They're past acquaintances or friends and family separated from me by great distances or the passing of time who, in between photos of my daughter and interesting historical quotes, read scriptures or Christian song lyrics that I post on Facebook. They're complete strangers who, in between rants about the flaws of the Texas Rangers or Carolina Panthers and the most brilliant 140 character quips online, read the spiritual thoughts and insights that I tweet or retweet on twitter. Perhaps they're readers of this blog, either loyal followers or someone who accidentally stumbled upon it through some long, crazy web browsing session. They've read my posts about God's freedom, God's music, and even God's justice. They see that I incorporate God into most of my writings and include at least one Bible verse or passage at the end of each post on this blog.

How could a writer with so much published material about, related to, or referencing God actually not believe in God? (The words "writer" and "published" being very loosely defined for the purposes of this illustration.)

To clarify, I didn't say that I don't believe in God. I said I doubt that God exists.

What's the difference?

The truth is that I utilized a dirty little writer's trick where I took a few words out of context, set them out as their own stand alone thought, and created a misleading point to grab the observer's attention.

You know. It's like when somebody tells you that "You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves..." (from Leviticus 19) when you start talking about finally getting that body art that you have wanted for years.

You see, if I had started off by saying "Every once in a while, because of circumstances or events in my life, there are moments in time where temporarily I wonder or I doubt that God exists...occasionally," you probably wouldn't have been as interested. It just doesn't have the same gripping effect.

I think the problem is that many people, some believers and some non-believers, have confused the concepts of doubt and unbelief. I do not think that they are interchangeable. Yet, I'm certain some of my Christian friends and family saw the beginning of this writing and immediately feared that I had turned my back on God. I've also heard atheists discuss their outlook with phrases like "Here's why I doubt that God exists." I've listened to skeptics who state that they doubt there is a God, but that it is possible

That is the difference. Doubt is not unbelief. Doubt, if not dealt with or confronted properly, can lead one into unbelief.

The definition of doubt is to be uncertain about something. It is a natural, human reaction to many things a person may (or may not) see, hear, or experience. To disbelieve something, by definition, means to withhold or reject belief. That is very different. Unbelief is not a fleeting moment of wonder or questioning. Unbelief is a personal, conscious decision to not believe.

I can remember being a kid when Nolan Ryan threw his seventh and final no hitter for the Texas Rangers. My parents had to tell me about it the next day. I didn't see it for myself. I recall arguing with them because I wasn't sure it was possible. I thought perhaps they were just playing around with me. I doubted.

How did I resolve my doubt? Two ways really. One, I listened to my parents. They were the people with more knowledge and who had actual experience with the question at hand, in this case baseball history. Two, I checked documentation. Turns out they keep records of major events in history. All you have to do is read all about it.

I have stated before that doubt is one of my most frequent struggles. This is due in no small part to my scientific background. Having spent much of my time in high school and nearly all of my time in college inside a science classroom, I have been presented with many reasons to disbelieve God. Many in the scientific community will not acknowledge the possibility of God or supernatural events because they cannot not be physically tested and explained.


Many others believe that the evidence presented by our physical world overwhelmingly indicates that everything in the universe formed and/or evolved naturally, without any influence of God at all.

That type of education combined with my analytical personality and what my wife describes as a "hyperlogical brain" probably leads me to doubt more than many other Christians might. However, it does not change my beliefs.

Allow me to state definitively: I believe that Nolan Ryan did throw seven no hitters. More importantly, I believe there is a God. I believe there is only one true God, and that he is the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I believe there is a heaven and a hell and that you and I both will eventually end up spending eternity in one of those destinations. I believe that science and the diversity of life and complexity of life on Earth serves as evidence for, not against, God.

I also believe that I am not immune to doubt.

To date, the most successful post on this blog relates the story of the event in my life that tried my faith the most. It is the closest my doubt has ever come to being converted to unbelief. There have been a plethora of smaller thoughts, events, or experiences that have led to doubt.

How do I resolve my doubt? I use the same two techniques that I did with Nolan Ryan. I rely on the knowledge and wisdom of others with more experience than me. This could be family, friends, pastors, teachers, etc. Also, I check the documentation. I refer to the official record book, the Bible. I can ALWAYS find the answer there.

I often regret the fact that doubt enters my life.

I don't believe that I should feel guilty though.

Those are often the instances where I seek after, and draw even closer to, God.

Scripture: "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." - Hebrews 11:1

Quote: "Science brings men nearer to God." - Louis Pasteur

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RIP Mr. Price

Today is a sad day.

Mr. Price has passed away.

Robert Price spent many years as a teacher at San Angelo Central High School. That is where I met him. That is where I remember him-in his classroom, sharing his knowledge and his love of science with hundreds of high school students.

I remember more of Mr. Price's lessons than any of those from my other teachers. And just about every Central student, whether they had to...er...make that GOT to attempt it or not, knew of his famous "bug project."

The greatest thing that he shared with me was passion for science and specifically for biology. You see, I earned my college degree in biology. Mr. Price was my first biology teacher. He was the man who truly introduced me to the discipline. More importantly, he was the first to instill a love of biology in me-a love for a study that would eventually become my college major.

I had heard recently that Mr. Price was having health problems. Sadly, in the years since I graduated, I have only seen and spoken with Mr. Price a handful of times. I regret that.

Now, he is gone.

So, I just have a few things that still need to be said.

Mr. Price, for the last time, from one biology lover to another, thank you.

And goodbye sir.


Scripture: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us," - Hebrews 12:1 ESV

Quote: "What we have done for ourselves alone, dies with us; what we have done for others and the world, remains and is immortal." - Albert Pike

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Where Words Fail

One of the great things about having a blog is that you get to share your passions with your readers. I am sure to include at least one scripture in every post I write. I have written about my wife. I have written about my daughter...on more than one occasion. If you look closely, you may even find an occasional reference to sports, movies, or TV shows like "Boy Meets World" sprinkled in to my writing. These are all passions of mine that God uses to reveal things about my world, my life, or myself.

Yet there is one very important area in my life that I have yet to write much about.

Music.

"Music is well said to be the speech of angels." - Thomas Carlyle

More than any other medium, God uses music to reach my heart. Also, I personally believe God most often and most effectively uses me through music.

I am by no means a professional musician. I don't have a record deal or a hit single on iTunes. In fact, I have never successfully written an entire song. The music that I do make doesn't reach millions of people, yet. Rather, I am very much involved in the wonderful world of music ministry. I am now, and have been for years, a guitarist (and occasional bassist, pianist, drummer, or vocalist) on my church's worship team. It is a position that I am humbled and honored to hold. It is simultaneously a privilege and a responsibility for which I could never express enough gratitude. It is a task of which I do not ever grow tired. In short, it is what I am supposed to do.

This is why I was created.

Serving my Lord and leading others into his presence through praise and worship is a truly special experience.

"Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without." - Confucius

So why haven't I written about it before? I'll tell you.

I don't know.

For some reason, I had to hear my entire philosophy on music ministry packaged perfectly into four little lines to trigger my creativity. I know this will be hard to believe at this point, but what got me going on this was, of all things, the chorus of a song.

It was like a kinder, gentler version of God's backhand smacked my forehead. "Wake up!"

"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain." - Bob Marley

The song is a gospel song. I'm sure that, just like every gospel song, many individuals and/or groups have recorded it. The version I like is performed by the Gaither Vocal Band (another shocker) and features Guy Penrod. It's called "I'm Gonna Sing." Here's how it goes:

"I'm gonna sing just as long as it takes for a song to make sad, heavy spirits free.
I'm gonna keep making music that carries the secret that Jesus is liberty.
I'm gonna turn off the sounds that will drag people down to the pit of despondency.
With a sweet happy tune, He is coming soon for His children like you and me."

Each individual line in that chorus is a worthy aspiration of any member of a music ministry team. Add them up and consider them all together, and you have a very succinct description of what I feel music ministry is or at least should be.

The first parts of each of the first two lines speak of persistence or endurance. Music is something you can learn, improve upon, and share for the rest of your life. Your level of involvement, your position or title, or your church might change many times, but once called, you are a minister.

"Without music, life would be a mistake." - Nietzsche

If you were to call my cell phone, you would hear part of an incredible song off of the Zac Brown Band's latest record. The last part of the chorus says "When I've lived out my days until the very end, I hope they find me in my home with my guitar in my hand." That really illustrates my desire to share God through music as long as I can still breathe air.

The third line in the Gaither song tells of the power that worship music has to lift one's spirit. Now, let me be clear here. I am NOT condemning secular music. I'm not the kind of person who believes we should all listen to only Christian music. In fact, if you were to scan my personal CD collection, you would find a very eclectic array. I just love many types of music. However, I also realize that there are certain genres, artists, or songs that are truly influenced by Satan. They evoke very dark responses and emotions from the listener. These are the sounds that we need to tune out and replace with songs glorifying our Lord God.

The ends of each of the first two lines remind me of the freedom in Christ described in John 8:36 and 2 Corinthians 3:17. When you've been set free in Christ, why wouldn't you want to sing about it? I may have chosen a different word than "secret" in the second line though. It's not a secret. People may not have had the chance to hear the good news yet, but God's love is for everyone on Earth. Nobody is intentionally left in the dark. (As I write, a gut wrenching thought hits me. If I know Jesus is liberty, and the person next to me doesn't know yet, and I don't tell them, have I just turned it into a secret by keeping it to myself?)

"Music is God's gift to man, the only art of Heaven given to earth, the only art of earth we take to Heaven." - Walter Savage Landor

Finally, we come to the last line. Jesus is coming soon to take us home. When he does, what do we have to look forward to? Revelation chapters 4 and 5 describe the throne room of heaven. In particular, the end of chapter 5, starting with verse 11, says this.

"Then I looked, and I heard around the throne and the living creatures and the elders the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!” And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!” And the four living creatures said, “Amen!” and the elders fell down and worshiped."

Here, we call it Revelation Song. In Heaven, it will simply be all of us giving honor and glory to God.

Holy, holy, holy is The Lord God almighty who was, and is, and is to come.

Sounds like a great praise and worship service, doesn't it?

You see, I have long felt that our job as music ministers or praise and worship leaders is twofold. One, to invite and usher in the presence of God. Two, to guide and lead those around us into that very presence.

I firmly believe, and will believe until my dying day, that when this happens, we all have the most spiritual experience possible on this mortal planet...true, honest worship of the King of Kings.

It is literally the closest we can come to Heaven on Earth.

"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music." - Aldous Huxley



Scripture: "Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth; break forth into joyous song and sing praises! Sing praises to the LORD with the lyre, with the lyre and the sound of melody! With trumpets and the sound of the horn make a joyful noise before the King, the LORD!" - Psalm 98:4-6

Quote: "Where words fail, music speaks." - Hans Christian Andersen

Bonus Quote: "There's energy there in music. No one ever danced to Houdini." - Penn Jillette

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It's A Simple Game

Wow! I have written 25 posts on this little blog. That's a fairly good start, but I've learned one thing already. I've still got a lot to learn. One thing I could still learn more about is topic selection. I have realized that I often leave a lot unwritten as I search for or even, at times, wait for the perfect idea to use.

What this has led to is me not writing as much as I probably should for fear of posting something of poor quality. If you have known me for very long, this element of perfectionism is not likely to shock you greatly.

When I started this blog, I intended to incorporate observations, responses, and personal beliefs about the world of sports. Two sports quotes seem to apply perfectly to this situation.

One is from hockey legend Wayne Gretzky who said "You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take."

The other comes from the movie Bull Durham. "Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains. Think about that for a while."

What these quotes show me is that if I never let an idea see the light of day, it can never have a chance to be great. If I have something to write, I should write. Sometimes it'll be good, and sometimes it'll be bad. Sometimes, it won't matter much at all, but writing is how I will learn and improve. I just need to fight against the doubt and worry that tries to tell me how poorly I am doing.

Perhaps this whole post could have been written as a much shorter passage.

"Don't think Meat. Just throw."

(I hope to have a post soon about my views on music ministry. Stay tuned.)




Scripture: "In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence, and His children will have a place of refuge." Proverbs 14:26

Quote: "Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance." - Samuel Johnson


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The Most Dangerous Word

My daughter is going to be a high school track star. I just know it.

She won't be a sprinter or hurdler either. No, she will be a distance runner, and her best event will likely be the longest one that they offer in UIL competition.

This won't be a result of me forcing her to do something. It's not because I'm trying to relive my missed opportunities vicariously through her like so many pathetic parents do with their kids. It's quite the opposite. I have no desire to run long distances. None at all.

In fact, when I played sports in school, I chose tennis. It's a sport where the running is broken down into very short distances, and there are built in breaks while you wait for the ball to travel from you to your opponent and then be returned to you again. There are longer breaks between points, even longer breaks between games, and still longer breaks between sets. There is actually little to no continuous running at all. That's more my speed.

And that is precisely why I'm convinced my baby girl will end up going to the complete opposite end of the athletic spectrum.

When this concept struck me the other day, the horror that attacked me was the thought that she will want me to help her at times with her training. I can already hear it.

"Hey Dad, I am going to go run a quick five miles. Will you come with me?"

Yikes! Oh well, as long as it's not yoga I guess.

I love my daughter. When that time comes, if she wants me to run, I will want to run with her. I want to be able to run, but I'm in very poor physical condition.

That thought is what clued me in to what is potentially the most dangerous word in our language. But. Three little letters that give us all an incredibly easy way out of facing or enjoying what we could or should be.

But.

I know this isn't a completely original concept. (For example, wait until you see the incredible quote I found for the end of this post.) It is just something that has been been nagging my conscience for weeks now. How much have I weasled out of in life by tacking on a simple "but"?

I'm reminded of a tobacco prevention poster from my school days. It showed rows of straight on photos of various animal hind quarters. The last photo was the remnant of a cigarette. The poster claimed that "Butts are gross." It was effective campaigning. I have never forgotten it. Now, I want to amend it slightly.

Buts are gross.

I don't believe that we can successfully eliminate the word from such a well established lexicon. So, how can we effectively reverse the effects of a but? I suggest simply reversing the but.

When you catch yourself adding a negative but onto a positive thought, just flip it. For example, "I want to write more, but I don't have much time" becomes "I don't have much time, but I want to write more." Now instead of an excuse, it has become a challenge. You've literally created an opportunity for yourself. Now instead of using a but as a reason not to do something, you can use the but to encourage yourself to find a way to make something happen.

WARNING!! Similar to other rules such as "I before E except after C," this rule applies only in cases where it is convenient to apply it. If the statement is something like "I want to jump out of this plane, but I do not have a parachute," DO NOT reverse the but.

Use with caution. Repeat as often as required.

So what's it going to be? What buts are gross in your life? What buts need reversing?

As for me...

I'm in very poor physical condition, but I want to be able to run.




Scripture: "for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught." - Proverbs 3:26

Quote: "The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the buts you use today." - Les Brown

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Clouds

We sang a great new song at church last Sunday. Perhaps you have heard of it. It's called "Blessed Assurance."

Ok. Ok. So maybe it's not THAT new, but it is the song that often comes to mind when I think about old becoming new.

You may ask...why? I'll tell you.

I couldn't begin to guess how many times I had heard or sung this song before I grasped the first verse. I am ashamed to admit that I fell victim to hearing the words as stanzas of the song, and not as actual sentences. Have you ever done that? I hate that.

The verse is sung like so:

Blessed assurance
Jesus is mine
Oh what a foretaste
Of glory divine

The last two lines musically flow so that the sentence works as intended. However, I always considered "Jesus is mine" to be it's own stand alone thought. If you consider the words a sentence instead of song lyrics, the true meaning should speak to you. (Hopefully much sooner than it did to me in my life. Oops.)

Jesus is my blessed assurance.

Wow! What a thought.

Also not exactly what I want to talk about. I want to talk about clouds.

You see, the newness of that old song is found in the version that we played. It's a recent recording by Matthew West. He took some liberties with the old melody, and he also added this tremendous chorus:

My king is coming soon.
He will roll the clouds away.
Light of heaven bursting through.
Oh what a glorious day!

Of course the cloud lyric here refers to when Jesus returns to Earth in his glory and power. That will indeed be a glorious day, but why limit God to that? Why keep him in such a specific box?

It occurs to me that clouds can symbolize many things in our lives. Figurative clouds can envelop us daily in our walks. Examples could be clouds of sadness, clouds of anger, clouds of heaviness, or clouds of fear. The one I feel that I deal with most is the cloud of doubt. What about a state of confusion? We actually refer to it as things being "a little cloudy."

Any of these clouds can come and go on their own, but sometimes they linger. Other times, they grow. They turn into storm clouds and threaten to destroy us. If allowed to, clouds of sadness can turn to depression. Clouds of heaviness can turn to despair. Clouds of fear can ruin us without any transformation at all, let alone after they have intensified into terrible storms around us.

So, how do you and I escape our clouds? How do we defeat them?

We don't.

We don't because we can't. Not by ourselves, and not with our own strength. That is why we need Jesus. That is why we must cry out to him, and we must do so fervently and without ceasing. It doesn't matter what type of storm we are in. It doesn't matter how long we have been there. Call on Jesus. He has the answer. He IS the answer.

Whatever your cloud is, you may have just encountered it, or you may have been dealing with it for a long time. I encourage you to always continue to call out to Jesus. He always hears us when we pray. You may not have seen your answer yet. Just remember one thing.

Your king is coming soon. He will roll the clouds away.




Scripture: "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified.” - Isaiah 61:3

Quote: "He will come to where you are. You're not too lost. You're not that far. When you're caught in stormy weather, and you're no match for the waves, the water walking God is gonna come and save the day." - Ernie Haase & Signature Sound (on the new album entitled, appropriately enough, Glorious Day)

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"Social" Media

Did you have a MySpace page?

Perhaps I should instead ask...have you ever heard of a MySpace page? What about Facebook? Twitter? Instagram? A blog?

Are you secretly a member of an online role playing realm who goes by the name of Dan the Destroyer?

Nowadays, there are a myriad of online ways for us to keep track of friends, family, and random people who remember you from that time you were stuck in line together for an hour and a half at the Walmart pharmacy. (Side issue: how old do you have to get before you're allowed to use terms like "nowadays"?) In fact, with the popularity explosion of smartphones, one need not even be online any more. There is an app for any of these so called social media available on virtually every cell phone company's plan.

All of this connectivity gives all of us unprecedented ability to stay in touch with the other people in our world. We could, if we wished, communicate with others so much more efficiently right now than at any other time in human history.

Here's the problem: we don't.

I have noticed that most social media users mostly fall into two categories.

The first group is people who desperately crave validation of others and misguidedly but actively seek it online. You know these people. They're the ones begging celebrities to follow or retweet them on twitter. They're the ones with 872 "friends" on Facebook. I'm not positive I've even met 872 people in my entire life.

The second group is people who don't communicate with others as much as communicate AT others. I believe that I belong in this group. Nobody cares. I know nobody cares. I am fully aware that I have less than 150 twitter followers, and I was recently the object of ridicule from some coworkers because I had only 89 Facebook friends. I recently tried to ask some general questions of my Facebook friends. Simple stuff about what kind of TV, movies, or music people were enjoying and would recommend to me. Can you guess the answers that I received? Nothing. Crickets. I didn't get squatch. (Hi little Bro!)

Yet, I continue to post MY opinions, MY photos, quotes or sports stats that aroused MY interest, and observations on MY world.

Seems kind of selfish.

It is kind of selfish.

Ironically, it was a Facebook friend who actually did respond to one of my posts (and my response to him) that keyed me into all of this.

Several months ago, I decided that at work, Friday would be the day every week that was dedicated to jazz music. I play it on my computer all day long and often post a status about a song or artist that really touched me that day. One day, that looked something like this...




Man, I can't draw a straight blackout line to save my life. By the way, that Ward quote is incredible in MY opinion.

Anyway, back to the first post. Two things you should know. First, Josh is a friend, but not an extremely close friend or family member. Actually, he is one of my brother's friends. Since my brother and I are both adults, with our own families and lives, I rarely encounter his friends any more. We may only communicate with each other by methods like Facebook for months or years without seeing one another. Second, that one "like" on Josh's comment was from me.

Several days later, it occurred to me how pathetic I was being. Someone actually read one of my thoughts and took time out of his day to to comment. He shared a relevant observation and suggestion that, based on my current and previous posts, he felt I would appreciate.

How did I respond? I clicked Like and went on about my life.

End of interaction.

Sad.

I had a MySpace page once. I use Facebook. Twitter is great. I obviously love blogging. It scares me to think how many social interactions I've avoided by using, or rather misusing social media.

A "like" (which by the way used to be a verb and not a noun) is great for when a "friend" posts an update, a photo, or link that you...wait for it...like. It's not so great for expressing your true thoughts.

What I should have done was respond. Perhaps something like: Thanks for the tip. That's not one of my favorite songs, but if anyone can do it well, it's the Rat Pack. I will look into it.

So, to Josh, and everybody else with whom I have failed to effectively communicate via social media...I am truly sorry.

Please accept MY sincere apology.

Scripture: “A wicked messenger falls into trouble, but a faithful envoy brings healing” - Proverbs 13:17

Quote: "The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate." - Joseph Priestly

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You Learn Something New Every Day

You learn something new every day.

How many times have you heard that in your life? I have heard it so many times that I finally decided to research it. I decided to record the "something new" that I learned every day for a month.

One problem: I forgot to take notes after just eighteen days. This could actually be good news. I chose February for this experiment because it is the shortest month. Even still, if it was successful, that would be a really long blog post. (I know, I know. That's never stopped me before. I'm working on being concise here though.)

So, without further ado, here are just a few more than two weeks worth of new facts that I learned.

1-The college football powerhouses from the University of Texas, the University of Southern California, and THE Ohio State University have never produced a quarterback who would start in the Super Bowl. The Delaware Blue Hens have now produced two: Rich Gannon and Joe Flacco.

2-After two nights of being home with my baby girl without my wife, I know she (the wife, not the baby) is a better and stronger person than I. Nothing can ever happen to her because I could not hack it as a single father.

3-The biggest deficit ever overcome by a Super Bowl winner is ten points.

4-Nothing new. Excuse: I didn't write anything down at the end of the day. The next morning I tried but couldn't recall anything noteworthy. It is impossible to say for sure whether or not I learned something new this day.

5-I am perhaps too serious about saving money. I caught myself worrying about a few dollars increase in our water bill until I considered how much we are saving because of my wife's brilliant idea to use cloth diapers for our baby.

6-I'm impressed greatly by companies who provide an envelope I can use to send remittance.

7-A kind word really can carry you very far. A customer commended me late in the work day, and I was flying high for hours.

8-There exists a version of "Your Cheatin' Heart" recorded by Louis Armstrong.

9-Someone creates individual sized microwave popcorn bags, and they're the perfect size for this individual.

10-Despite the ridiculous name, LL Cool J makes a tremendous Grammy host.

11-I learned what RSV is and that even my baby can get sick.

12-One of my best friends has never watched Boy Meets World. WHAT?!?!?

13-When a nurse can't hit an arm vein, a baby in the ER can be given an IV via a scalp vein.

14-Vince Carter has scored more points in the NBA than Larry Bird.

15-My wife has a lot more and/or a lot better Facebook friends than I do.

16-Nothing new. Excuse: My baby girl was in the hospital. I was distracted. It is also impossible to say for sure whether or not I learned something new this day.

17-Wayne Gretzky played twelve seasons in the NHL before he had a season with LESS than forty goals scored.

18-Only four NBA players have no-trade clauses in their contracts: Kobe Bryant, Dirk Nowitzki, Tim Duncan, and Kevin Garnett.

Some fun stuff there, but what does it prove? Do we literally learn something new every day? If this were an episode of Mythbusters, I believe the verdict would be "plausible."

I don't believe that the two days with no results prove the premise to be false. They can be written off as simple recording errors. Also, even if I had recorded something those days, I don't believe eighteen successful data runs proves the premise to be true. The CDC places average life expectancy at 78.7 years, or 28,725 days. The chance of a human learning something new each and every one of those days seems remote.

You may not know it, but I have a Bachelor of Science degree. I majored in Biology and minored in Chemistry. Though I'm not currently working in the field, I am a scientist at heart. I want to learn about and understand the world around me. Perhaps that has unfairly influenced me, but here is my opinion on this subject.

You may not automatically learn something new every day, but you can if you want to do so. As cliche as it may sound, all you have to do is pay attention. Like the great Ferris Bueller once said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Take note of the people, places, and things around you. Stop, look, listen, and learn. (Seems like I stole that from somewhere...any ideas where?)

About my being concise, sorry guys. Maybe next time.

As far as the concept in question here, I will simply add one slight punctuation mark. I will change it from an observation into a suggestion. It could change your life for the better and make it infinitely more intriguing.

You, learn something new everyday.

Scripture: "An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge." - Proverbs 18:15

Quote: "Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody else has thought." - Jonathan Swift

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A New Understanding

We learned a new song in church this week.

Maybe not "we." I had never played it before, and the acoustic guitar played a prominent role in the song. So, I had to pick it up fast.

Maybe not "new." I had never played it before, but the song has been around for a while and is familiar to many people.

Maybe not "in church." I had never played it before, but this song has been played on many praise CDs and in many services and gatherings.

It seems my opening remark may need reworking. How about this?

I learned to play a song for church this week that was a new and exciting addition to my repertoire.

Much better.

The song is "You Are Good" by Israel Houghton. It is a great praise song that is very well written. It has a great theme and is a blast to play on guitar or on the radio. Yet, none of those factors is what ministered to me the most.

Rather, it was something else entirely. It wasn't the lyrics or music on paper. It wasn't the audio of the song. It was the video.

You see in working on that and one other song ("Not Ashamed" by Passion) for this week's worship service, I spent a lot of time on YouTube. The videos of these songs give me the chance both to hear the music and study the guitarists' methods and approaches to the various parts.

However, something outside of all of that leapt off the screen at me. The congregations when it was a church setting, and the crowds in the outdoor festival or indoor arena settings were all jumping and clapping and singing. The singers on stage were running, leaping, and spinning as they sang. (Chris Tomlin was particularly energetic in the "Not Ashamed" clip.) (Unimportant but amusing side note: if you try to type "Tomlin" on my iPad, it autocorrects to "Tomlinson." Perhaps I post on Facebook/write/tweet about sports a bit too much.) And then there's Israel Houghton, who not only leaps and dances, but does it all while playing guitar. It is really impressive to watch.

Why were they all doing this?

Is it because they love God? In a word, yes.

Is it because the joy that they've found in Christ is that great? Yes again.

For the singers, musicians, and leaders, is it because they want to usher others into the presence of God through praise and worship? Most certainly.

But there is a much bigger cause to the effect.

I also watched a concert DVD this week called "The Complex Rock Tour Live" by The Blue Man Group. If you've never seen them perform, I highly recommend that you check them out. Their music is innovative, and their stage show is amazingly cerebral. They also do some crazy gags, stunts, and dance moves that they would likely never do in public as their "normal" selves. They even have a song that talks about the metaphorical masks that people put on in their daily lives, sometimes to the point that their true form is no longer recognizable to themselves or to others. It is equal parts epiphany and irony coming from a bunch of guys literally wearing blue masks.

It was watching this performance that showed me what all those people in the YouTube clips had that allowed them to expend such energy in worship.

Freedom.

Freedom in Christ.

When we allow Christ into our lives...when we truly accept him for who he is and what he has done, we are set free. The Bible tells us that "...if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36) We are free to be our true selves. We no longer have to put on some misguided disguise or pretend to be someone we are not.

Yes these people love God, have joy in Him, and want others to also experience God's presence, so much so that they feel the need to dance passionately before God. But it's because of the freedom in Christ that all of that gets expressed outwardly. (Is there any other way to express something? Never mind...) Because of Jesus, they are literally free to do what they were created to do.

That's what we witness in these video clips.

In fact one of the comments on the Passion video stated that "Christians know how to party." And you know what? That's ok. We are allowed to have fun while worshipping God. It is why we were given life.

We were created to worship.

What about you? Does your church have a team that dances in front of the church while the music plays? Does your worship team play an instrument or a musical style that's different than you're used to? Are there people in your congregation who bounce, or dance, or raise their hands in worship? What other expressions of praise have you witnessed that may make you or someone else uncomfortable?

I am not one who dances or leaps or spins often...er....ever. It just isn't in my makeup. In the past, I have often been uncomfortable being around people who are able to worship that way. But you know what I've noticed? All of the dancers, leapers, and spinners always give me the freedom to worship in my own way.

Why shouldn't I do the same for them?




Scripture: “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” - 2 Corinthians 3:17

Quote: "Every morning, I put it on. I walk outside, and I am gone. And I don't seem to mind anymore. I can't think what it was like before I wore it all the time." - from "Persona" by Blue Man Group

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Where Was God While My Baby Was In The Hospital?

(This is going to be a long one, but I am more than confident enough to promise you it will be worth the read. Thanks and buckle up.)

That was traumatic. I have just been through what was easily the most emotionally disturbing experience of my life.

My wife and I are the very proud parents of the most miraculous baby girl, Melody Joan. She is now almost six months old, and she is simply amazing. Every day with her merely adds to the wonder that I felt the day Mandy told me that we were expecting. She is a gift from God.

At least, I thought that she was a gift from God. Then she got sick.

Here's the timeline:

Monday - Melody wasn't acting like herself and was clearly sick. We got her to the doctor, and she was diagnosed with RSV. RSV is a viral infection with no vaccine and no known cure that attacks the respiratory system.

Wednesday morning - Melody had gotten worse. Mandy had a stomach bug and was concerned that maybe Melody had contracted that as well. Another doctor visit ruled that out but confirmed an ear infection and RSV progression.

Wednesday night - Because Melody slept literally all afternoon from just after one until almost five, Mandy called the doctor again. The doctor was concerned about Melody's blood oxygen levels and advised us to bring Melody to the emergency room right away. We were in the ER by 6 pm. Over the next six hours, our angel was subjected to a myriad of doctors, nurses, tests, and treatments. It was determined that she was still suffering from RSV, but was also greatly dehydrated and had a possible urinary tract or kidney infection. She was admitted to the hospital for further observation and treatment.

Early Thursday morning - Despite all the medicines and fluids, Melody had continued to run a fever all week. It even rose as high as 105 degrees at one point in the night. She still had to undergo frequent breathing treatments and receive iv fluids. When her doctor came to check on her, we learned that waiting on a few test results meant she had at least one or two more days to stay in the hospital.

Thursday afternoon, evening, and night - The late morning and the afternoon hours on Thursday were much better. Melody was more herself, even giving us a few slight but still hugely encouraging little smiles. Then the night came, and she cried. Then she cried. Then she cried some more. We tried everything we could think of-rocking, laying her in the crib, Mandy holding her, me holding her, with and without her pacifier, nursing, with and without swaddling, singing to her, letting her "cry it out," the nurses even brought a swing from the nursery-nothing worked. It was incredibly disheartening. Then...she fell asleep. Despite all the nurses vital sign checks, breathing treatments, and even an early Friday morning blood draw for lab work, she slept through the night.

Friday - I had to go in to work... ... ... ... ... ...

Meanwhile, the doctor was telling us that Melody's chest X-ray, blood tests, and initial urine results looked good. At this point, we were told she could go home after she went 24 hours without a fever spike. Great news! Then, just before lunch her temperature rose over 100 again. At least one more night in the hospital.

Friday evening - Another doctor visit, this time saying that if she makes it through the night with no fever, she might be released in the morning.

Saturday- A different doctor confirms that Melody does not have pneumonia or any infections except in her ear. However, because she still isn't eating or drinking much, she must stay one more night.

Sunday morning - The doctor confirmed our girl was well enough to be released. Melody came home!

That was such a welcome relief to us. Still, if our daughter were truly a gift from God, how could this happen? Somewhere along the way, I found myself asking a potentially dangerous question.

Where was God?

Where was God for five and a half months when we were praying to him over Melody every night asking for good health and protection from disease?

Where was God after she was diagnosed and we began, along with friends and family, to intercede on her behalf and pray for healing?

Where was God that Wednesday night when our baby girl was lying in the emergency room suffering and scared?

Where was God when the nurse in the ER was unable to successfully set up Melody's iv in her arm and had to call in a team to place it in a vein in her scalp instead?

Where was God while we were in the ER and hospital administration came in wanting to collect our insurance deductible of several thousand dollars?

Where was God when our little girl was living for days in a hospital room with cardiac and respiratory monitors keeping her hooked to one machine while an iv flowing into her scalp kept her hooked to another?

Where was God when my grandfather, who I'm convinced is the greatest man of God walking on this planet, couldn't stay in the room with his great granddaughter for more than two or three minutes because his heart was so badly breaking for her?

Where was God that Thursday night when my precious child could not be soothed for hours and I could no longer hold myself together? Where was he as my baby cried, and I sobbed, and my wife cried because I was losing it and was unable to tell her what was wrong?

Where was God on Friday morning when, because of circumstances mostly beyond my control, I had to get up and go to work, leaving my wife and baby sleeping in a hospital room to cope with the uncertainty together but without me?

Where was God when we were supposed to be getting closer to going home, but Melody's condition kept changing and resetting the countdown?

Where was God?

It's a hard question to face, especially under such adversity. You see, it is very easy to believe in God and to see his handiwork in your life when everything is going perfectly. What about times like this? What about when your one and only baby girl is in such a terrible situation? I have to say that I have never thought longer or harder about this than I have in the last several days. My faith in God has never been so tested.

Where was God?

I believe that I know the answers.

Correction: I know I know the answers.

God was there.

Ask any child you know where God is, and you'll likely be give an emphatic one word answer. "Everywhere!" It is a basic truth about God. In fact, it's so basic that we as adults tend to lose focus of the concept because of its simplicity.

God is everywhere, so God was there.

God was there for over twenty five years (including seven years of our marriage that we were convinced we would be unable to have kids) watching, listening, and planning perfection as Mandy grew up dreaming of being a mother.

God was there for five and a half months protecting Melody from sickness. Yes something got to her this time, but she's only been sick for 6 days. She was healthy and strong for an astonishing 170 days as a newborn before then.

God was there in the emergency waiting room with my parents who spent nearly six hours sitting alone and waiting on news about their only granddaughter.

God was there that Wednesday in two different churches, the one we recently left and the one we recently joined, as they heard the news and both congregations began to join in prayer and agreement.

God was there with a team of medical experts who had the knowledge, skills, and experience to know that Melody needed an iv. They also had the knowledge, skills, and experience to move to a "Plan B" when there were issues that arose. He also had apparently designed Melody for just such a contingency. We were later informed that scalp ivs must usually be changed after one day in kids. Ours held up and didn't have to be moved in just over three days worth of hospital stay.

God was there years before when a couple at church reached out and introduced us to Dave Ramsey, which led to us paying off our debt and building up some savings so that we had cash available in an Emergency Fund for just such an occasion.

God was there in that hospital room. He was pouring out his love for us in the form of multiple visits from the pastors at our new church, our family, our friends, and even the pastor and some members of the congregation at our old church. There were stuffed animals, cards, balloons, gift baskets, flowers, and meals brought to the room encouraging us and our baby through this ordeal. One of Mandy's close friends provided the most poignant moment as she prayed over our daughter. She mentioned God having to watch as his only son suffered for us. God was there, and he knew what we were enduring.

God was there walking right beside my grandfather just as he always does, probably with a comforting arm around his shoulder. God may have even carried him for a little while.

God was there when my strength finally failed and my emotions took over, and he was catching every single tear that fell as I wept uncontrollably.

God was there in my office helping me to focus on the task I had to complete. He was there and provided me with coworkers who graciously accepted my very early morning text messages after our ER visit and kindly agreed to cover for me when I missed work, and with an understanding boss who encouraged me to return to my family by leaving work early after I had accomplished my goal.

God was there making sure our little girl got all the treatment she needed from the professionals before Mandy and I brought her home to finish healing up.

I mentioned earlier that's is easier to see God in the good days in life. Such a belief has a corollary as well. It must also be easier to doubt God in the bad times. When all we do is look for, dwell on, and remain in the dark places, then all we can do is doubt.

What should we do instead? Because of the calling to music ministry in my life, I often find answers in lyrics. In hard times, I always think about two songs.

Matt Redman sings "...for all your goodness I will keep on singing, ten thousand reasons for my heart to find."

Phillips, Craig, and Dean sang "Though the darkness for a moment may hide tomorrow's light, just beyond what eyes can see the light of hope is bright. There's a little bit of morning outside. There's a new beginning in the sky. It's been a while, but now the time is right to spread your wings and fly. Silent hearts sing a brand new song. The darkest night is just before the dawn. Weary soul arise. Wipe the pain from your eyes. There's a little bit of morning outside."

You can find God anywhere if you want, because he's there. He's everywhere. All you have to do is look. I encourage you, if you find yourself in a similar situation, to stop for a moment and consider how much worse things could be. You may not get the exact answer that you thought you would or should get, but look closer. You can find the evidence of your heavenly Father working on your behalf.

And when you reach the end of your rope, spend the 99 cents it takes to download and listen to Phillips, Craig, and Dean's "Little Bit of Morning."

Weary soul arise. Wipe the pain from your eyes. There's a little bit of morning outside.

We often refer to Melody as "our little princess." You see she is, always was, and ALWAYS will be a miracle gift from God. No matter what.

She is also the daughter of the King of kings, a true princess. She's home now and on the road to full recovery.

God would never abandon her, or us.

God was there.




Scripture: “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” - Deuteronomy 31:8

Quote: "Some people grumble because roses have thorns; I am thankful that the thorns have roses." - Alphonse Karr

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The Epitome of Selfishness

My Carolina Panthers are scheduled to play a football game tomorrow against the Kansas City Chiefs.

The game does not matter.

It's not because Carolina is bad (3-8). It's not because Kansas City is worse (1-10). In the overall NFL picture, neither team matters this season. Sadly, there is a much more sobering reminder that this is just a game.

Kansas City police have this morning confirmed that a 25 year old Chiefs player has committed suicide at the team's facility. As I write, the player's name has not been released. There are reports that the player may have killed his girlfriend first. There are reports that some coaches may have confronted the player and/or witnessed the incident. I'm sure all of the facts will come out in time.

This is being widely reported and followed by the public because it involves a pro athlete in the most popular sports league in America. The reality is suicide affects multitudes people every day, in every walk of life.

And it shouldn't.

Many have said that "suicide is not the way out." The truth is that suicide IS a way out. If you commit suicide, you are out. Others often refer to suicide as "the easy way out." This obviously is not true, however, for whatever family members and friends remain to deal with the aftermath. I have said it before, and I will say it again. Suicide gets you out, but it screws over everybody that you love and care for who is left behind.

There is an inherent problem within that last sentence though. Actually, it should say that you screw over everybody that loves you and that cares for you. I believe, and will believe until my dying day, that if you kill yourself, there is nobody that you truly love. There is nobody that you truly care about...other than yourself. Once you do this, your problems are over, but your death affects them greatly, and affects them every day for the rest of their lives. Meanwhile, you no longer have to deal with, well anything really.

It is the epitome of selfishness.

It's not worth it. If suicide is something you are considering, please talk to somebody. Then talk to somebody else. Then talk to many other people. Get help. There are people who will work through things with you and can help you find answers.

Ultimately, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. (I know someone else coined that phrase, but I can't remember who to credit for it.) There is always, ALWAYS another solution.


Scripture: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:18-19

Quote: "No society can prosper if it aims at making things easier-instead it should aim at making people stronger!!" - Ashoka

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God Bless President Obama

President Barack Obama has been re-elected. What does this mean for those of us who disagree with the election results?

First, a little background: I am a registered Republican. However, as I'm sure many of my friends and family would hate to admit, I tend to be quite a bit more moderate than conservative. (I've even been called liberal once by one family member.) In 4 presidential elections in which I've had the honor of voting, I have only voted in one Republican primary. I have never voted straight ticket for ANY party.

I have been concerned since he was a senator about President Obama's record. He is too far left for me. (His voting record in the Senate was more liberal than Ted Kennedy for crying out loud.) President George W. Bush was actually too far right for my taste. I loved John McCain.

I think we need leaders in or near the middle that can start unifying our nation. The biggest problem with our government has long been that great, good, bad, or horrible, your ideas as a government official are judged solely on one criterion: a letter after your name. If I'm an (R) and you're a (D), we can't talk. That is a fatal flaw. (This is no longer the biggest problem. The crippling, unrestrained spending of money that our nation DOES NOT HAVE, and the rapidly growing disincentive for people to work or improve themselves economically are the new gorillas in the room.)

That being said, given the choice between too left or too right, I will always pick too right. I voted for Mitt Romney this time. (Truthfully, I voted as much for Paul Ryan as I did for Romney.)

I was outvoted. (Though not by much. As I type, CNN is reporting that out of nearly 100 million votes counted, there are 335 votes separating President Obama and Mitt Romney. Stunning numbers that show just how divided our nation is, and how desperately we need a unifying force and a moderate and/or bipartisan leadership.)

So what does all of this mean for me?

It means Barack Obama is still President of the United States.

Barack Obama is my president.

Though I may disagree with who and what he represents, I will pray for President Obama. I will pray for America. And most assuredly, I will pray that President Obama, the Democratic Senate, and the Republican House can somehow learn to work together for the good of the United States of America and not the individual voters who they hope and pray might vote for them later.

Throughout this post, I have been very careful to refer to him as President Obama. I have been guilty in the past of referring to the president as Clinton, Bush, George W., Dubya, and Obama. I hope to break that habit, and raise my baby girl differently. Like it or not, he (whoever "he" is at the current moment) is the president.

He is President Obama.

God bless President Obama.

Most importantly, God bless the United States of America.




Scripture: Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. - Romans 13:1-2

Quote: We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. - Albert Einstein

Bonus quote: Deal with the world the way it is, not the way you wish it was. - John Chambers

Bonus quote: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. - Albert Einstein

Bonus quote: We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are. - Max Dupree

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Change Over Time, Day 1

Today's weight: 282.8 (thankfully much lower than I anticipated)
This week's starting weight: 282.8
Overall starting weight: 282.8

Little Things: 10 push-ups, 10 sit-ups, 20 jumping jacks, 10 minute evening walk

Breakfast: 6 oz nonfat yogurt, apple

Lunch: PBJ on wheat with a side of lightly salted potato chips, sweet tea

Dinner: Angel hair pasta with crescent rolls, sweet tea

Goofs: Coca-Cola Icee, late night Oreos and milk

So I'm not perfect yet, but hey...it's a start.

This may or may not be a daily tracker, but for any posts that are just updates and not some original writings, I will omit the traditional scripture and quotation references.

Game on!


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Decay

I haven't written anything in a while. I just hadn't really been in a writing kind of mood for some reason.

Until recently.

The other day, I sat and watched the first episode of the sixth season of The Big Bang Theory, a sitcom on CBS, with my six week old daughter in my arms.

My daughter is six weeks old, and the changes I've seen in her already are too great to fully express here. You know what's changed in my life in the last six weeks? My daughter arrived and grew to be six weeks old. Outside of that...nothing really.

Even sadder, that sitcom is starting its sixth year on the air. You know what's changed in my life in the last six years? My daughter arrived and grew to be six weeks old. Outside of that...nothing really.

I went to the homecoming football game last Friday night to cheer on The San Angelo Central High Bobcats. I am a proud member of the Class of 2000. I graduated high school twelve years ago. You know what's changed in my life in the last twelve years?

Actually, that's where the pattern breaks. Since 2000, I have started and finished college. I have dated, proposed to, and married the most beautiful girl in the world. Oh, and my daughter arrived and grew to be six weeks old.

So why has it taken so long for me to achieve significant change in my life? I have not made even marginal progress toward any goal in my life. In fact, it is a very legitimate question to ask if I even have goals to work toward. I do have them. I now feel that I must more clearly define them and determine to go get them. Then, it's just drive man. Just drive. Go get it.

I used to have this image that I used as my profile pic on Facebook. It is a fraction type equation with a delta over a lower case t. It stands for change over time. My intention was for this to be a reminder to me as I worked toward my physical, financial, and musical goals that success would not be instantaneous. However, I actually took it to the wrong extreme. I have stopped working as hard as I should and started relying on time to change things for me.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a 100% guaranteed way to avoid success or even mild progress for six weeks, six years, or longer.

You see, if you wait for time to change things for you, it most certainly will. It just won't be in the way you would prefer. The effect time usually has on anything is erosion, rot, decay. That's what has happened to me. For example, I rarely work on my guitar playing any more, and I have stopped eating right or exercising. Results? My guitar skill has slowly diminished and my health is not where it should be.

That all changes now. Change over time. As it was originally intended, this will be my goal. A goal to be worked toward actively, not waited on or hoped for. Presently, it will apply mostly to my health. I may not be able to complete a full P90X workout every day for 3 months. However, I can eat healthier and smaller meals. I can do some form of exercise daily. And I will.

Previously, I used Facebook as my accountability tracker. This blog will (only temporarily) serve that purpose now. I need to get healthier and stronger for my family. My wife and baby girl deserve the best of me.

Perhaps, guitar and other goals can follow later.

Game on!




Scripture: In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty. - Proverbs 14:23

Quote: "...all we had we've wasted. It's something like decay. You know it won't be long before we've spent all our lives complacent, and isn't that a shame? We've faded for so long." - Mark Tremonti

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Reality Check

I finally sat down with Mandy and watched the opening ceremony of the Olympics in London. I always enjoy the pageantry of the opening ceremonies and the celebratory atmosphere of the closing ceremonies. (Side note: The next summer games will be in Rio. How fantastic is that closing ceremony going to be?) For me personally, there is one moment of every Olympiad that is the most gripping and emotionally stirring, and it comes in the opening ceremony.

It does not matter where in the world the Olympics are held, I always watch the parade of nations. That's where you will find the greatest single moment of television every four years. It is the moment at the end of the parade of nations when the athletes from the host nation are introduced and first enter the arena. It never fails to thrill. The team is introduced, and the athletes file in led proudly by the flag of their country. In the stands, tens of thousands of their countrymen erupt in the most purely passionate cheers heard anywhere on the planet.

Can you imagine walking in following and wearing the colors of your nation and being met with the love and adoration of your country before you ever even step on the field of play? What an indescribable honor. I get emotional just considering the possibility.

There was another captivating image at this year's opening ceremony. An overhead camera shot showed the crowd of athletes assembled on the floor of the arena. Thousands of individuals from over two hundred nations, many from differing cultures, many with conflicting belief systems were gathered in one place, preparing to spend two weeks together, and putting aside their differences.

What causes this harmony among the nations that we would all love to see, but only truly reveals itself on one platform?

Sports. I'm just sayin'.

It is, after all, the opening of the Olympic games.

Then there is the competition. Already this year we have seen drama in the swimming arena. Ryan Lochte won an early gold medal and appeared poised to become the breakout star of these Olympics, only to see Michael Phelps return to prominence and become the most decorated Olympian ever. There will also be a lot of interest once the track and field events begin. The world will be anxious to see if the aptly named Usain Bolt can continue to stretch the boundaries of human capability.

And of course, there is USA Gymnastics. The girls' team is known as the Fab Five, and they have shown why they have earned that nickname for sure.

First, there's Jordyn Wieber. Now, a rule is a rule no matter how incredibly dumb it is, and the rule is only two gymnasts from any country can make the individual all-around final. Knowing this, Wieber's dreams of all-around gold were crushed when two of her teammates, including Gabby Douglas, scored higher than her in qualifying. Now, I don't pretend to know more about gymnastics than the Olympic judges, but as we watched the performances, I thought Wieber outperformed Douglas. Nevertheless, she was eliminated.

How did she respond? She put it all aside temporarily, locked herself in, and delivered an amazing vault to help the USA win the team gold medal going away.

And what of Gabby Douglas. First, she has to cope with conflicting emotions. On one hand, her friend and teammate is out of the competition and visibly devastated. On the other, she is one step closer to realizing her dream. I'm also guessing that there were at least a few ignoramuses (ignorami?) like me who didn't believe she belonged in the final. Also, most of the media coverage seemed focused on Wieber missing the final rather than on Douglas making it.

How did she respond? She put it all aside temporarily, locked herself in, and delivered the performance of her life to win the individual all-around gold medal. She proved to me and everyone else that she did truly belong.

Phelps, Wieber, Douglas have all shown us why sports create the ultimate in reality television. They, and thousands of other international athletes, captivate the world for two weeks in even numbered years. Their accomplishments could prove that there exists in each of us the power to overcome the odds and our circumstances and have our spirit truly shine brightly.

That shining human spirit sounds great, but it doesn't exist. Not really.

I don't have it.

See...swimming, track, gymnastics. Even in the Olympics, each individual event is, exactly like all the other sports I write about, just a game. It is not reality.

Reality is every American gold medalist returning home to an increased tax bill from the IRS. (Yes, our government taxes each gold medalist to the tune of almost $9000 per gold.) Reality is a world full of people who take for granted and take advantage, a world full of laziness and an incomprehensible spirit of envy that grows and spreads like wildfire every day.

True reality is when many of these athletes, now outside of the Olympics, endure the atrocities that occur when true humanity reveals it self and people blindly and violently stand up for those conflicting belief systems that were temporarily eschewed during the games.

Once the athletes are done with the competition, the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, and the closing ceremony, they must return home. Once the Olympic flame is extinguished, they must return to reality.

And reality sucks.




Scripture: If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord. - Romans 12:18-19 (NIV)

Quote: "I don't know when I might give in. It's haunting me again, and I feel like just giving up. Today, how it wears me thin. I'm weakening again, and I feel like just giving up." - Mark Tremonti


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